How typical would you say you are among escorts? Do you like books?

I'm about as typical among escorts as I am among women in general, although it's not quite the same. Escorts in general tend to be a little different, if only because someone who believes wholeheartedly into society's vision of an "ideal" life is probably not going to want to be an escort. We're oddballs in different ways, though. For example, my friend Tara is a huuuuge fitness buff, runs marathons, and loves to kickbox. I work with an escort who does a lot of community theater and loves historical reenactments and another who is really into the hardcore BDSM scene (although she doesn't do BDSM at work).

Anyway, a lot of escorts like to read, although not everyone is into nerdy fiction like I am. If you want to make sure you can have a good conversation, look for escorts with reviews that point to them being fun to talk to, consult the agency and ask for recommendations, etc.. The agency wants to get you an appointment with the right escort so you'll become a repeat client, so don't be afraid to be specific about non-sexual stuff.

Do rates increase with experience, decrease with age, or do rates generally stay the same over time?

This is going to be an unsatisfactory answer, but: it depends. We generally play with our rates a little using good old supply and demand. If I'm swamped with appointments (usually in the summer), I experiment with raising my rates until my scheduling is more reasonable.

Experience can be an increase, especially if an escort has tons of good reviews.

Age can decrease rates, although not generally until 35ish or so. Then again, most over-35 escorts lie about their age, but it's kind of an open secret.

What factors go into determining an escort's rate?

Rates are determined by area (NYC is way more expensive than, say, Richmond), fame (an established, well-reviewed escort can charge more than an unknown), looks, race to some extent, demeanor, and limits. I'm never going to be one of the $1000 an hour escorts because I don't act in a way that would let me fit in around high-powered politicians or celebrities, I don't do condomless blowjobs, I'm not famous (although I have excellent reviews, I'm not a porn star or a big name), and I don't live in an area where CEOs and celebrities hang out.

Do you get virgins with performance anxiety problems?

Virgins + performance anxiety is like alcohol + bad decisions. They don't always go together, but... Anyway, I generally talk with them for a long time, give them a backrub to make them less jumpy about being touched, kiss for a long time, etc.. If things just aren't happening, I do more backrubs, suggest they play with me for awhile (it's relatively easy to get me off and it boosts their confidence to know that I'm having fun), that kind of thing.

You can just say "I'm not used to this, please take things slowly." We get much weirder requests, I promise!

What is a normal day like for an escort?

Here's a typical day:
Wake up, shower, shave everything (takes forever, too), moisturize, stretch.
Call my favorite phone worker for my schedule.
Drive to the apartment a half-hour before my first appointment.
Clean up the bedroom, put out fresh towels, make the bed with fresh sheets, light candles, make sure there's plenty of water in the Brita. We used to use bottled water, but that's wasteful.
Chat with other escorts and security until my client arrives.
Warn other escorts so they can hide while I let the client in, check his ID, and take him to the bedroom. Show the client the bathroom so he can shower and freshen up. Ask if he wants some water.
Call the phone worker to let her know that my client is here and his ID checks out.
Return to bedroom. Wait for client to emerge from the shower.
If client is already naked, strip. If not, I wait to get naked until he does.
Chat for a while.
Begin kissing.
Kissing progresses to wandering hands, which progresses to sex, yay!
After sex, get rid of the now-icky condoms and chat for awhile longer.
About 10 minutes before the end of the session, offer another shower.
Get clothes on.
Check to make sure that no other clients are leaving right then and show my client out.
Take shower myself, re-clean room, change sheets, run laundry (I run so much goddamn laundry, it's ridiculous), wipe up bathroom, put out fresh towels.
Hang out in the living room until next client, and then repeat.
After four clients or the end of my shift, go home.
Do typical 20-something stuff until bedtime!

Could an escort do oral only and still get clients?

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How can you escort? It's such a degrading thing for a woman.

I don't feel degraded. Do you feel degraded or dehumanized by doing your job? After all, you're selling yourself physically and mentally for however much you make. It's not like my fast food job valued me for anything more than my body (physically cooking nasty, smelly food, cleaning, fetching and carrying) or some very limited uses of my mind (running the register, taking orders).

Every job smacks of desperation. Would you go to work every day if you didn't need the money? I'd rather be unemployed and magically rich so I could stay at home and read a novel per day, but since I have to have a job due to a severe lack of dead rich uncles, what's wrong with it being something I mostly enjoy and that pays well?

Don't you feel bad that you are having sex with what can be assumed are married men?

I don't feel like I do harm the lives of others, no. In a lot of ways, I see what I do as harm reduction. My clients are going to cheat, but when they cheat by seeing me, they're with someone with strict rules about safer sex, who isn't going to involve herself with them emotionally, who isn't going to show up pregnant and break up their families, who is going to encourage them to treat the people around them well. If I wasn't in this business, they'd still be cheating, just like (extreme comparison ahoy!) junkies will still shoot up even without sterile injection sites, but it's better if they do it as safely as possible.

What is the percentage of your clients that are in monogomous relationships?

Younger guys: less than half, possibly even less than a quarter. A lot of my younger clients are seeing an escort because they have a hard time getting into a regular relationship but still crave sex and companionship. I end up giving these clients a lot of dating advice. (I'm kind of tired of giving dating advice; there's only so many times you can say "Join an activity that will force you to talk to people" or "It's better to ask someone out right away than hope she magically realizes you like her" before you start to grit your teeth.)

Older guys: At least three-quarters. I dislike that they're cheating — breaking your promises to your partner is a shitty, shitty thing — but, although it doesn't excuse them, nonmonogamy is only just starting to edge into cultural acceptability. The option for "have an open, honest, nonmonogamous relationship" just wasn't there when they were getting married, and I imagine it's hard to break off a loving, long-term relationship because of something that's easy to cover up.

How can you make an open-relationship work?

You have to make sure that both people definitely want an open relationship. It's not something that you can push the other person into, because they'll be miserable and, if you're at all a decent person, that will make you miserable as well. Other than that: communication, respecting boundaries, communication, honesty with all your partners, communication. If you're not fond of talking about your feelings, I can't recommend an open relationship, because you'll end up doing it a hundred times more often.

Do you plan on telling your kids you were an escort? What would you say if your kids wanted to be escorts?

I doubt they'd find out, since it's not like you get branded by a big scarlet P when you become a prostitute. If they did, I'd tell them that it was a job I did when I was younger and that I didn't have a problem with it, but because prostitution has such a social stigma, they should keep their knowledge to themeselves.

If my daughter/son became an escort, had attitudes toward sex to let them do it healthily, were taking care of themselves physically, and seemed happy, I wouldn't mind. If they seemed unhappy or wanted to quit, I'd encourage them and offer to support them financially while they got a normal job.

If my son/daughter started seeing prostitutes, presumably he'd have to be financially successful to be able to blow that much money on a luxury. If he was spending the rent money on pussy, I'd kick his ass. I'd try to make sure he wasn't seeing prostitutes because he was unable to form normal relationships. If he was just doing it for variety and not in a monogamous relationship, I don't see why I'd care.

In general, I don't want to hear a lot about my offspring's sex lives. Euw.

What do you think of "Secret Diary of a Call Girl"?

I have mixed feelings about "Secret Diary of a Call Girl"; I feel it makes escorting look too glamorous and dramatic and may be encouraging women to go into escorting because of that rather than because they have compatible attitudes toward sex and enjoy having casual sex. (Sorry for the long sentence; I just took my medication and it's making me a bit woozy.) However, "it's a job that I mostly enjoy and that pays well" doesn't make good entertainment, huh?

Have you ever considered going into the Adult Film Industry?

No, the adult film industry doesn't appeal for me. I have some feminist issues with the way it's currently run. I know this may sound odd, but as is, I'm working with a female-operated-and-owned company, my boss backs me up against clients and cares about us personally, and I've never felt pressured to do anything I didn't want to. There are some feminist porn producers, but from what I've heard, they're few and far between. Besides, porn sex never looks like it would feel good from the woman's point of view: little clitoral stimulation, huuuge cervix-battering penises, and a lot of degrading language.

How do you initiate sex if you aren't allowed to take the money for sex?

No talking about sex without us actually having sex is a liability issue, yes. Officially, I don't go in planning on having sex. We generally talk and then make out, and, if when the clothes come off, sex happens, that's just natural.

Generally, I start kissing and let the client initiate taking clothes off, starting with himself. I'm always the last person to get naked.

Why does the escort agency ask for my work number and references?

When calling work, they just call a coworker make up an inquiry and then tag on a "Is so-and-so in your office? I need to call him but I lost his extension, if you don't mind giving it to me." This is to make sure that the client didn't give us a fake name.

If it seems excessive, don't see escorts that require that much security. It hasn't hurt me any.

The references are more like "So and so really saw me, is probably not a cop, and isn't a jerk."

So how do you find your way to an escort agency?

I lucked out on craigslist. If I'd known what I was doing, I'd have gone on TER, made a fake account, and then asked about agencies. Most agency websites have an email you can use to apply (they all want full-body pictures and a good face shot), and then you just interview like for a regular job. Mine was a phone interview because my agency is busy and I live a little ways out of town.

Reputation is EVERYTHING in this business. Mostly, it's based around the hobbyist community on TER and several other secret forums. So, if someone wanted to see a new escort, he'd look her up on TER and read her reviews, which have a numerical component and a description of the session. Because of that, getting good reviews is the best publicity you can have, and someone who is known to be a TER reviewer usually gets the VIP treatment (nothing special, I'm just extra-nice and am careful not to make him feel rushed).

I have friends who want to escort. How should she get started in escorting?

If they want to give it a shot, I'd have them make fake accounts at TER and ask the Chicago board for the best agencies. After that, they should look up the agencies' websites and check out the employment information. 70/30 is a very good split for this industry; 60-40 is more standard. After that, they'll need to send pictures to the agency owners. If the agency is interested, they'll set up a phone interview, where your friends should ask about the split, screening, who pays for what, how long they've been in business, their clientele, if they've ever had legal issues, whether they do incall or outcall, advertising, etc.. I personally prefer working with female agency owners, but there are some good male ones out there too.

Can you tell us a story about any surreal moments with clients?

Let's see. I was working in an apartment with Tara (not her real name!), another escort that I really get along with. She's gorgeous, but remember how I said I'm not an amazon? She definitely is. She's 6'2, very muscular (not in a bodybuilder way! She runs marathons, so she has legs that could snap you in half, plus her shoulders are really broad), super-long red hair in little braids, and coppery skin. She gets stared at whenever we go out for lunch. Anyway, we do doubles sometimes, which is a lot of fun, but she has a tendency to manhandle me.

So we have a double scheduled and, when the client comes in, he's teeny. About four inches shorter than me, so 5'2-ish, and bird-boned. Tara gets a lot of really short clients because, for some reason, they usually like very tall girls. He brought a robe and this weird gold necklace and wanted me to play High Priestess while he "worshipped" Tara. So I had to just stand there dressed up like something from a low-rent Indiana Jones movie while he ate her out, telling him every so often to "pay homage to your goddess" and "your goddess is pleased with you." Oh, and he wanted me to chant, so I made up some crazy-sounding phrases and repeated them. Finally he got her off (I think she was faking, mostly because she was obviously trying hard not to crack up the whole time), thanked us both very politely (still calling her goddess and me "high priestess"), took his robe and necklace, and left.

Tipped us both an extra $50, though.

Who besides the escorts work in an escort agency?

Usually it's just escorts, security guys (who double as drivers), receptionists/screeners, and the owner, who generally does the accounting. I do bi-weekly drops, where I take out the 30% I owe the agency and either give it to the owner if she's around or put it in an envelope and drop it in the safe. Occaisionally you hear about escorts skipping town with their agency's money, but it's a stupid thing to do when, instead of stealing 30%, you could just work an extra week and make a ton more money. An escort who steals generally won't ever be able to work in that city again.

Most people hold other jobs or do work-from-home stuff. Escorting can be very profitable part-time. A lot of people just tell others that they're strippers; it's a good way to explain having lots of cash around and working flexible hours. The security and phone people generally work under a very blandly named business name, like (am making this up, but it's pretty typical) Star Administrative Solutions or something.

What's your opinion on penis size? You've had sex with a lot of guys, so what are your opinions on a big vs average vs little?

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How does oral sex with an escort work?

I use dental dams and condoms for all oral; it's one of the things that keeps me from being a $1000 an hour type of escort, who generally doesn't require protection for oral. I'm simply not willing to take the risk.

Not many guys insist on not using a condom for oral, probably because no condom = no oral. Too bad, so sad for them. If a guy can't before my jaw tires out, I'll suggest that we switch to intercourse or he lets me give him a handjob. If his time runs out, I'll give him an extra five minutes or so if he's been nice, then tell him that he should book more time when he comes to see me next.

Do you have bad feelings to the lower class professionals, if you could even call them that?

My feelings toward lower-class escorts, prostitutes, and streetwalkers are a little complicated. I do feel sorry for a lot of them: drug addiction and abuse are very common there, and it's not like you can help how you were born and raised. The qualities that allow me to be higher-class are very much middle-class ones: I'm educated, I speak without class or racial markers (ebonics or a "redneck" accent), I've had the benefit of good healthcare and nuitrition throughout my life, my parents raised me lovingly and modelled a good relationship for me, etc.. Most streetwalkers don't have those advantages, so it's hard to blame them. On the other hand, though, there are people who have made some really terrible choices in their lives, who are involved in gang activity, who don't want to try to get out of their addictions, and it's very difficult not to be angry when their choices put me in danger.

I do donate anonymously to several sex worker outreach programs that provide STD testing and help to sex workers who want to get out of the industry, so that assuages my conscience somewhat. Still, it's a difficult topic.

Where does an escort keep all that untaxed money?

Money lives in a fire-proof safe. As far as investing goes, I've thought about it. What I think will probably eventually happen is that, when my partner is working, we'll use my income for buying things, rent, and donations, while saving and investing most of his.

I've never known anyone who got in trouble for not paying taxes, but I'm sure it happens. Most of the people I know who've had trouble with their money are just shitty at managing it; they spend beyond their means, don't save anything, get into a druggy lifestyle, that kind of thing. Drugs especially are a problem, because the moment an escort gets a reputation for having a drug issue, higher-class clients stop seeing her (because they don't want to get arrested) and she generally has to drop her rates. Lowered rates bring lower-class clients, who are more likely to bring drugs in, screwing up her reputation even further as well as increasing the likelihood of legal attention. At this point, the escort's best bet is to get clean, move, change her working name, and start over without the benefit of reviews, but not everyone can manage that.

Do many guys lose their virginity to escorts?

Yes, I've seen virgins. Sometimes they're people (like the fat guy) who, in my opinion, probably aren't going to get laid the normal way, so I have no problem with them coming to me. They're mostly very nice, very nervous, and almost always have a hard time getting off. Some of them, however, are younger guys, nothing really wrong with them besides social awkwardness, who decide to see an escort instead of trying to work on their social skills. They're almost always clingy and complain about not having any friends, so I try to push them into getting themselves involved in more social activities. One of the nice things about the job is that, when two people are naked together, you can be a lot more blunt about your advice.

I think being an escort has more of a stigma, especially because escorts are generally women and women having casual sex at all is more looked-down-upon. Look at how people talk about, say, Ron Jeremy versus Asia Carrera. Both of them seem to be charming, intelligent people with a sense of humor, but Ron Jeremy gets to be a teddy bear and show up in mainstream movies while Asia Carrera is relagated to the trashy porn star bin.

Like the previously mentioned fat guy, how do you, uh, get turned on to even touch an 50+ year old penis, and put it in your mouth and vagina?

It's not like 50-year-old dicks are covered in mold or anything. :P Generally by the time I do anything sexual, I've been talking with the client for awhile, making out, etc., and I'm not physically turned off by wrinkles or white hair. (I don't date older guys because I dislike the difference in life experience, not because old = ugly.) Also, pretty much all of the old guys are waaaaaay into giving me oral, so after half an hour of getting eaten out, I'm pretty turned on.

You know, I've never had a really hideous client. No Quasimodo types, anyway. Most of the unattractive ones were so eager to be friendly and nice to me (like the aforementioned fat guy) that I end up liking them.

How often do you get guys who orgasm in a minute or two?

I get minute-men every so often. Usually they're young guys and are ready to go again in five minutes, so it doesn't really matter. If you're old and not going to be able to get it back up, please don't give yourself a heart attack trying, though. We can talk, or I can rub your back, or you can go soak in the giant awesome bathtub, but don't make me worry about explaining a wrinkly naked corpse to the paramedics.

I've had a couple of clients that were so good that they go into the Fap Bank and I actually look forward to having sex with them again. Generally, though I'm not really attracted to clients the same way I would be to a date.

Most expensive gift? Probably a $100 bottle of champagne. I couldn't taste the difference, though.

How many days a week do you escort? What kind of hours is it?

Right now, I'm working 4 days a week, on-call 6 hours a day (that means I get between 1 and 4 appointments). I actually get the most customers on weekdays around noon, because that's when all the businessmen can sneak off from their jobs.

I don't actually make quite that much because I have to take time off for being sick (like right now). Still, it's very, very good money.

How did you get started being an escort in the first place?

Got curious, needed the money, looked on craigslist at the Erotic Gigs section, somehow found an awesome, stable agency on my first try.

The interview was pretty hilarious, though. I look kind of innocent, so my boss kept asking "Are you sure you know what we're doing here? I can tell you again if you don't understand. Are you sure this is what you want?" My poor boyfriend at the time had to vouch for me being kind of a nympho; I was wearing him out.

Have you ever felt like you changed someone's life as an escort?

I had a three-hour appointment once with a regular who came in absolutely heartbroken that his dog had died. He'd been holding it in all day at work because he didn't want to be all miserable in front of his coworkers, but practically as soon as he undressed, he broke down and cried. I ended up rubbing his back for a loooooong time while he talked about how awesome his dog was, how much he was going to miss him, how his dog had been there for him when his wife had died, goofy things the dog did, irritating things the dog did, just this whole eulogy. It was like as soon as he was physically naked, he felt like it was okay to be emotionally vulnerable. About two hours in, he was smiling again and making jokes, and his whole body just sort of unknotted itself. So we had kind of slow, lazy sex, cuddled for awhile, and then he left.

The next day, the dispatcher kept asking me WTF I did to get so many calls, and it turned out the guy went on one of the hobbyist forums and told everyone they should come see me if they needed someone who would let them relax and get things off their chest. It was sweet.

In your opinion, why is prostitution illegal in the US?

I suspect it's illegal for a couple of reasons. For one thing, people tend to have a bee up their butts at any sort of sex that doesn't fit the "loving monogamous heterosexual relationship" mold. For another thing, having prostitution illegal lends itself very well to abusive and desperate situations (human trafficking, the abusive pimp, selling sex for drug money), which gives prostitution as a whole a bad image. People don't hear prostitute and think of a college-educated girl having generally-fun sex and making money doing it, they think of girls smuggled over the border and kept in brothel-prisons or junkies so desperate for money that they'll consent to anything.

It's actively enforced much like drugs are. Prostitutes of and serving the middle class seem to be mostly left alone. Prostitutes serving the poor and the very rich get more legal attention, the first because streetwalkers are obvious and they have fewer resources to keep themselves safe and the latter because anything having to do with rich people and sex has instant media appeal.

What age were you when you lost your virginity? Can I get multiple escorts? Do you wear your own clothes?

Virginity lost: 17

Sex for money: 21

I was raped once after I started escorting. The bastard wasn't a client, just a regular date, and the cops told me there wasn't enough evidence to do anything about it. Grr. Therapy helped, though.

Multiple escorts to one client: Yep, that's called a double (or triple if he hired three other girls). Usually the guys who do that just want to watch. Group sex is a lot of fun, although you need a really big bed.

I provide my own clothes, but they're mostly in the vein of "pretty dress + heels." I'm not a big fan of, say, maid outfits or anything like that.

Do you think you have an unusual attitude towards sex?How long before you end up hogtied in somebody's car boot?

I do think I have an unusual view of sex. For one thing, I don't see just the penetrative act as sex; oral and manual sex both count as sex in my book just as much as intercourse. I wouldn't say society has it all wrong, although I do think society does have a lot of unhealthy attitudes toward sex. It'd be really arrogant to say that I have all the answers, though, but my own attitudes work for me (and my partner, and our other dates).

If I had to justify what I do to myself, I'd probably stop doing it. I'm comfortable with my job and my life. As for clients, occaisionally I do get the white knighting "What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?!" and I find that the classic response works best*.

It'd be a very inefficient serial killer who provided two forms of ID, got a reference from another escort, faxed work documents to us, provided us with two phone numbers, and then waited a week to see me just to try to get me past a big burly security guard and stuff me in the trunk of his car. I think he'd probably pick an easier target.

What happens if you have a customer who can't "finish" in a timely manner?

I'm a bit flexible on the time limit, but it depends on how nice you are to me about it and if I have another appointment scheduled right afterwards. If you're a jerk, you're leaving after an hour, and if you're a jerk who arrived late, you're leaving an hour after your appointment was supposed to start.

If a client can't get off, usually I just shrug it off, we do whatever mutually satisfying thing we can, and then I hint that they should book a longer appointment next time.

I'm not asked to dress up too often, which is good because I don't have a huge costume wardrobe. Generally, I dress nicely but not really flamboyantly sexually. A typical outfit would be a cute, flowy dress that hits right above the knee, some heels, and maybe a cardigan if it's cold out. The clothes come off pretty quickly, so I don't tend to get complicated with my outfits.

Do you worry about getting arrested as an escort?

I do worry a little about the legality, but it's not crippling fear. My position on the prostitution totem pole also keeps me pretty safe: I'm not on the streets prompting cries to "clean up the city," and I don't have famous people or politicians as clients so there isn't the same scrutiny. The fact that we absolutely do not allow any drug use is also helpful. Law enforcement generally has better things to do than set up elaborate sting operations to give a bunch of girls a night in jail and a fine, and I don't even think the clients get a night in jail.

I see a bit like smoking pot — illegal but unlikely to get me in trouble unless I do something stupid — and escorting benefits me much more than pot. There's still that little bit of fear, but I mostly use it to remind myself not to take extra risks.

As for taxes, there's no record anywhere of how much money I make and it's always in cash, so the likelihood of getting screwed over for taxes is pretty small. I want to pay them because I believe in government, not because I'm afraid.

Can a small breasted woman become an escort?

A huge percentage of my clients wax poetic over my not-big-at-all-boobs, so I think it's more about finding one's niche. If I wanted to attract the clients who are into the whole blonde bombshell look, well, I wouldn't have much luck. My look in general is very natural: not a lot of obvious makeup (of course, it takes work to keep things that subtle), simple dresses, delicate jewelry, that kind of thing. I don't look like a porn star, but judging by how busy I am, that's not a bad thing. And, of course, confidence is always sexy. I like my body much more the way it is than if I pumped it up full of silicone and coated myself in spray tan.

Most of the hobbyists I see are pretty decent, if a little old for my personal tastes. They seem to think of visiting escorts as something akin to being a wine afficionado - it's a luxury they appreciate, like to talk about (which I don't really like), compare with other hobbyists, etc.. The younger guys tend to be the ones who just come in because they're horny or trying to lose their virginity or trying to act like a high-roller. It's a little silly.

How often do you ever get offered more money for dirtier stuff you don't normally do- like anal or being tied up etc?

Actually, it's strictly verboten to offer an escort money for sexual services. I get paid for my time and that's it; if you start offering me money for a specific sexual act, I'll give you one warning and then ask you to leave. Besides, why would I violate the sanctity of my butthole when I'm already making $175 an hour? Sheesh. I actually like being tied up, but it's not something I do at work because it makes me feel less in-control of the situation.

I actually had no debt after college because I basically made scholarship-hunting into a full-time job. What little was left over I paid out-of-pocket.

Right now, I'm saving about $100 out of every $175. My rent's all paid off for a long time, I'm very cheap (I cook for myself and shop at thrift stores and craigslist), and my main weakness, books, is not an expensive vice.

As far as trends go, the younger guys are generally much more nervous and less experimental. They usually don't want to talk as much, they apologize for every little thing (like laying on my hair or losing their hard-on), and it's generally a big pain in the ass to get them to relax and have a good time. Older guys are less attractive physically but also more fun.

The only big issue with older guys is STUPID FUCKING VIAGRA. Man was not meant to have an erection lasting for the whole of a three-hour session. I get chafed!

How old is too old to escort?

As for when I get too old: there are tons and tons of escorts who stay in the business well into their 40s and even 50s. They don't get the sheer numbers that younger women do, but they tend to have a very stable client base and regular appointments. The ones who do well tend to be very active in the hobbyist community, though, and I'm not very fond of that, so I'd quit when that started to be an issue. I'd also quit if I began to have any kind of mental health issue caused by escorting, or if I wanted to have kids.

You might have the wrong idea about agencies. Agencies don't technically hire escorts, they represent us. You could say we hire them, considering that they get paid out of our rates, but it's a more symbiotic relationship than that. An agency might stop representing an escort if she wasn't getting enough appointments to pay for her advertising for whatever reason, including age, but there are plenty of escorts out there who don't use an agency and only see regulars.

Who's the grossest person you had sex with?

I had this one client who came in because he really, really, really obviously wasn't ever going to get laid the normal way. I think he had a medical condition or something, because this was quite honestly the fattest dude I've ever seen. It was a shame, because he actually had quite a handsome face, but the folds, ugh. Anyway, apparently he generally had a problem with what I can only call fold stink, because he'd scrubbed himself so hard that he'd actually ripped his skin up in some places. I spent most of the session bandaging him up and talking about how much we both hated The O.C.. Finally we had sex (with him having to hold up a double-handful of folds) and even though I was utterly non-turned-on, I still felt like I was doing a public service. Poor guy. He left really happy, though.

How do customers know which agencies are classy and which are trash?

Let's see, things I'd be suspicious about :

- All Asians or Latinas, because they might be trafficked and thus basically slaves. This means Asian "happy ending" massage parlors should also be suspect.

- Too many girls. When an agency has over around ten escorts, it's generally unable to treat them all individually and often skimps on screening.

- A lazy screening process generally indicates a lack of concern for the wellbeing of the escorts. This means that, generally, you shouldn't be able to get a same-day appointment unless you've already been screened.

- Escorts showing their faces in pictures. Sometimes decent agencies do this, but it often means that the escorts don't really have anything to lose. Skeevy!

- Shitty pictures. An agency that is treating their escorts like individuals should advertise them as individuals, not as grainy photos of t&a.

A good way to check is to go to the employment section of an agency's website. It should spell out some of the terms the escorts work under.

Would you prefer if escorting became more legitimate in the eyes of the law?

I'd love it if prostitution became legal and regulated. It probably would lower rates some, but it would also probably lower the cost of doing business as well. Part of why our screening process is so thorough is that, unfortunately, if someone does get violent, it's harder for us to involve law enforcement. Generally we have some sort of private security, but it's not the same. Legalisation would also make it much easier to crack down on truly exploitative agencies (and pimps, and human trafficking) because as it is now, we're all under the same umbrella. There's a world of difference between someone like me and my coworkers and someone who has been illegally brought to this country to serve as a sex slave, or someone whose pimp forces her to have sex for his profit.

I get tested for STDs pretty much constantly anyway, so it's not like that would be different. As for keeping it a secret: I'd happily come out to everyone who knows me, as awful as that would be, if it helped prevent slavery and rape.

Do you only think of the money or are there other positive sides to being an escort?

Well, for one thing, I never "have" to have sex. If I'm really uncomfortable with someone, out the door they go; if me being uncomfortable is their fault, I still get paid. $250 buys an hour of my time, no more, no less. In general, though, I do have sex with my clients, in part because this is a highly reputation-based business and I like having return clients. For another thing: I really really really like sex. I think the analogy is "Sex is like pizza: even when it's bad, it's still pretty good." Sometimes I've had pretty awesome sex with clients, sometimes it's bad, mostly it's mediocre (but I still get off), and I'd much rather get paid lots of money to have orgasms and make out than not very much money to burn my fingers and roast over a hot grill.

Really, you can't imagine an unpleasant, uncomfortable job? Work fast food for a little while. I had blisters all over my fingers from being burned on the fryers, prickly heat, and a grease smell that wouldn't wash off. Nasty. There are plenty of other unpleasant, uncomfortable jobs, too: coal miners probably get pretty sore (and black lung isn't a picnic), bike messengers ride through bitter cold and pouring rain, retail workers get screamed at, etc..

Let's see, other benefits: I'm not going to lie, it is pretty nice getting complimented by people who are paying you to hang out with them. I get some nice books, too, and get taken to delicious meals. The sex, as I mentioned, is usually at least decent. I meet entertaining people who relax and tell me about their lives, so I learn interesting and sometimes hilarious things. (For example, I had a jewelry-store owner as a client who told stories about wannabe thugs coming in looking for cheap bling and not knowing the difference between CZs and diamonds, heh.)

Is being an escort an exotic lifestyle, or something you take up out of desperation?

Neither. It's a job. Sometimes it's irritating, sometimes it's fun (orgasms are pretty great anyway), mostly it's pretty bland. It's a lot like customer service except that instead of just having to be (or pretend to be) friendly and helpful, I also am (or pretend to be, depending on the client) flirtatious and totally into the sex. The money is excellent and it beats the hell out of working in fast food, where I had to deal with 10 times the asshole customers, no supportive management, and reeked of grease all day.

How did you get in this business and what are your long term plans?

I'd been curious about it, I'd done some soul-searching and realized that sex+companionship for money didn't sound anything like as objectionable as various other "normal" jobs I've had, and the money is pretty great for a college grad in a shitty economy. Fortunately, I found an excellent agency off craigslist of all places, so I met the owner and several of the other ladies, realized that nobody was getting exploited (in this particular agency! there are some skeevy ones out there), and gave it a try.

Long term plans: At the very least, I'll be doing this until my partner lands a steady job (see: shitty economy) and I find something more career-oriented. Right now, I'm building up a nice pool of savings and starting a wedding fund. Ideally, I'd love to sell a manuscript and write professionally, but I'm looking at administrative jobs right now. I'll definitely quit by the time I want to have kids, though.

How would you describe your looks? What are your selling points? What makes you more desirable?

On TER, the main escort review website, my scores range from an 8 to a 10 depending on taste; I think the lowest I've ever had was a 7 from a guy who was exceedingly upset that I was at least a foot taller than him. I'm not exactly an amazon, though, just leggy. As I mentioned before, I get compared to Audrey Hepburn a lot, since my coloring is quite similar.

What makes me more desireable? The question is more "What makes me different." Many people would call the Playboy "blonde, tan, and buxom" look extremely desireable, but there are a lot of escorts with that look. I'm pale, brunette and slender with smallish boobs; I wear rather minimal makeup and don't have any weird piercings. Additionally, I'm intellectual shading to geeky, I can discuss Shakespeare, non-contemporary music, and politics with a reasonable amount of aplomb, and I make it very clear that prefer books as presents over flowers or chocolates. Basically, I don't look or behave like most other women in the business, so I get plenty of niche customers.

Plus, I give awesome head and can have multiple orgasms. Those are also big factors.

Do you worry about STDs? Have you ever gotten one from this job?

I do worry a lot about STDs and am quite rabid about practicing safer sex. Most of my clients understand this, but you always get the idiot who wants to go bareback. For one thing, NO NEVER WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? For another, they never seem to realize that an escort who lets one client skip out on condom use is almost certainly letting scads of them do the same, ugh.

Fortunately, I've never caught anything from this job but a ton of UTIs. I did catch HPV from the guy I lost my virginity with (I'd never done anything but kissing before him, too), so go figure.

How do escorts schedule their meetings with a client? Have you ever been arrested?

Never been arrested. Hopefully the police have better things to do than bother someone providing companionship.

I don't have any contact with clients, so they don't know my phone number, email, or anything. I work with an agency, so I get all my clients exhaustively screened; they have to call well in advance and schedule an appointment, wait to be cleared (this involves giving references from other escorts they've seen, job checks, DMV info, the whole nine yards), and only find out where to go on the day of. I do incall, meaning I work out of an apartment or hotel room. It's safer for me, plus there's an advantage in getting to kick people out when there time is done. For regulars, I sometimes get hired to go on dates, but it's not something I'd do with a new client.

What was the absolute worst encounter you've had on account of your profession?

When I'd just started, I had a guy who was exceedingly critical and domineering. I'm naturally a little submissive and wasn't experienced enough yet to stand up for myself and kick him out, which is what I'd do now. He made me cry, the asshole, because he'd called and requested an outfit 5 minutes before I got there and I couldn't magically make one appear.

Most of my bad experiences are just uncomfortable and unpleasant, not really miserable.

Are you ever attracted to your clients? How many regulars do you have? Do you date?

Let's see. Okay, none of my clients are people I'd want to date, as I'm in my early twenties and they're either 40+ or, more rarely, screwed-up younger people. The older guys can be fun; they're better at sex and they're generally seeing an escort for the variety. Most of the younger guys are, well, you can see why they're having to pay for sex.

I have about 30-50 regulars, as in people who see me at least every couple months (although some make appointments every week like clockwork).

As for my dating life: I suppose I'm what you could call polyamorous. My main partner knows what I do and doesn't mind, and it's an incredible relief to be able to come home and vent. We've been together for two years and are talking about getting married. I do occaisionally date other people (although not too much, since I'm pretty shy and a homebody), and unfortunately I tend to lie about my job. It sucks, especially since I dislike keeping secrets, but it's not exactly something you tell a casual date.

Do you ever get clients/customers who just want the companionship and don't expect any sex?

Yes, quite frequently, although I don't know how universal that is. A lot of my client base consists of men (and yes, they're always men) who like me because I'm educated and a good conversationalist.

As for whether they're more or less interesting: it depends on the guy. Some of them are soooooo boring (no, dude, I don't want to hear about your money troubles, especially when you're spending $Texas on seeing me). Some are pleasant to talk to, although not generally to the point where I could see myself hanging out with them off-duty. I do prefer the clients who talk to me and treat me like a person (if a rather attractive person that they probably intend to have sex with) than the ones who are just looking for a hole. The latter should probably just invest in a realdoll.