Thursday, April 9, 2009

Can you tell us a story about any surreal moments with clients?

Let's see. I was working in an apartment with Tara (not her real name!), another escort that I really get along with. She's gorgeous, but remember how I said I'm not an amazon? She definitely is. She's 6'2, very muscular (not in a bodybuilder way! She runs marathons, so she has legs that could snap you in half, plus her shoulders are really broad), super-long red hair in little braids, and coppery skin. She gets stared at whenever we go out for lunch. Anyway, we do doubles sometimes, which is a lot of fun, but she has a tendency to manhandle me.

So we have a double scheduled and, when the client comes in, he's teeny. About four inches shorter than me, so 5'2-ish, and bird-boned. Tara gets a lot of really short clients because, for some reason, they usually like very tall girls. He brought a robe and this weird gold necklace and wanted me to play High Priestess while he "worshipped" Tara. So I had to just stand there dressed up like something from a low-rent Indiana Jones movie while he ate her out, telling him every so often to "pay homage to your goddess" and "your goddess is pleased with you." Oh, and he wanted me to chant, so I made up some crazy-sounding phrases and repeated them. Finally he got her off (I think she was faking, mostly because she was obviously trying hard not to crack up the whole time), thanked us both very politely (still calling her goddess and me "high priestess"), took his robe and necklace, and left.

Tipped us both an extra $50, though.

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