Sunday, April 26, 2009

How typical would you say you are among escorts? Do you like books?

I'm about as typical among escorts as I am among women in general, although it's not quite the same. Escorts in general tend to be a little different, if only because someone who believes wholeheartedly into society's vision of an "ideal" life is probably not going to want to be an escort. We're oddballs in different ways, though. For example, my friend Tara is a huuuuge fitness buff, runs marathons, and loves to kickbox. I work with an escort who does a lot of community theater and loves historical reenactments and another who is really into the hardcore BDSM scene (although she doesn't do BDSM at work).

Anyway, a lot of escorts like to read, although not everyone is into nerdy fiction like I am. If you want to make sure you can have a good conversation, look for escorts with reviews that point to them being fun to talk to, consult the agency and ask for recommendations, etc.. The agency wants to get you an appointment with the right escort so you'll become a repeat client, so don't be afraid to be specific about non-sexual stuff.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Do rates increase with experience, decrease with age, or do rates generally stay the same over time?

This is going to be an unsatisfactory answer, but: it depends. We generally play with our rates a little using good old supply and demand. If I'm swamped with appointments (usually in the summer), I experiment with raising my rates until my scheduling is more reasonable.

Experience can be an increase, especially if an escort has tons of good reviews.

Age can decrease rates, although not generally until 35ish or so. Then again, most over-35 escorts lie about their age, but it's kind of an open secret.

Friday, April 24, 2009

What factors go into determining an escort's rate?

Rates are determined by area (NYC is way more expensive than, say, Richmond), fame (an established, well-reviewed escort can charge more than an unknown), looks, race to some extent, demeanor, and limits. I'm never going to be one of the $1000 an hour escorts because I don't act in a way that would let me fit in around high-powered politicians or celebrities, I don't do condomless blowjobs, I'm not famous (although I have excellent reviews, I'm not a porn star or a big name), and I don't live in an area where CEOs and celebrities hang out.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Do you get virgins with performance anxiety problems?

Virgins + performance anxiety is like alcohol + bad decisions. They don't always go together, but... Anyway, I generally talk with them for a long time, give them a backrub to make them less jumpy about being touched, kiss for a long time, etc.. If things just aren't happening, I do more backrubs, suggest they play with me for awhile (it's relatively easy to get me off and it boosts their confidence to know that I'm having fun), that kind of thing.

You can just say "I'm not used to this, please take things slowly." We get much weirder requests, I promise!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

What is a normal day like for an escort?

Here's a typical day:
Wake up, shower, shave everything (takes forever, too), moisturize, stretch.
Call my favorite phone worker for my schedule.
Drive to the apartment a half-hour before my first appointment.
Clean up the bedroom, put out fresh towels, make the bed with fresh sheets, light candles, make sure there's plenty of water in the Brita. We used to use bottled water, but that's wasteful.
Chat with other escorts and security until my client arrives.
Warn other escorts so they can hide while I let the client in, check his ID, and take him to the bedroom. Show the client the bathroom so he can shower and freshen up. Ask if he wants some water.
Call the phone worker to let her know that my client is here and his ID checks out.
Return to bedroom. Wait for client to emerge from the shower.
If client is already naked, strip. If not, I wait to get naked until he does.
Chat for a while.
Begin kissing.
Kissing progresses to wandering hands, which progresses to sex, yay!
After sex, get rid of the now-icky condoms and chat for awhile longer.
About 10 minutes before the end of the session, offer another shower.
Get clothes on.
Check to make sure that no other clients are leaving right then and show my client out.
Take shower myself, re-clean room, change sheets, run laundry (I run so much goddamn laundry, it's ridiculous), wipe up bathroom, put out fresh towels.
Hang out in the living room until next client, and then repeat.
After four clients or the end of my shift, go home.
Do typical 20-something stuff until bedtime!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Could an escort do oral only and still get clients?

My agency just does GFE, so we don't have escorts that don't do full service. There are many agencies that represent escorts that only do oral, or who do "erotic massage" (backrub + handjob). There are also zillions of independent escorts with various limits, so it just depends on whether your clients find them too strict for your price range. Insisting on condoms forever does lower the kind of rates I can set; when you get to the $350+ level, clients generally expect condomless blowjobs, although if an escort is well-known enough, she can be an exception.

There's a thriving community of what amounts to private strippers, who pretty much just do companionship + a strip show with no physical contact whatsoever. They seem to do pretty well.

Monday, April 20, 2009

How can you escort? It's such a degrading thing for a woman.

I don't feel degraded. Do you feel degraded or dehumanized by doing your job? After all, you're selling yourself physically and mentally for however much you make. It's not like my fast food job valued me for anything more than my body (physically cooking nasty, smelly food, cleaning, fetching and carrying) or some very limited uses of my mind (running the register, taking orders).

Every job smacks of desperation. Would you go to work every day if you didn't need the money? I'd rather be unemployed and magically rich so I could stay at home and read a novel per day, but since I have to have a job due to a severe lack of dead rich uncles, what's wrong with it being something I mostly enjoy and that pays well?

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Don't you feel bad that you are having sex with what can be assumed are married men?

I don't feel like I do harm the lives of others, no. In a lot of ways, I see what I do as harm reduction. My clients are going to cheat, but when they cheat by seeing me, they're with someone with strict rules about safer sex, who isn't going to involve herself with them emotionally, who isn't going to show up pregnant and break up their families, who is going to encourage them to treat the people around them well. If I wasn't in this business, they'd still be cheating, just like (extreme comparison ahoy!) junkies will still shoot up even without sterile injection sites, but it's better if they do it as safely as possible.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

What is the percentage of your clients that are in monogomous relationships?

Younger guys: less than half, possibly even less than a quarter. A lot of my younger clients are seeing an escort because they have a hard time getting into a regular relationship but still crave sex and companionship. I end up giving these clients a lot of dating advice. (I'm kind of tired of giving dating advice; there's only so many times you can say "Join an activity that will force you to talk to people" or "It's better to ask someone out right away than hope she magically realizes you like her" before you start to grit your teeth.)

Older guys: At least three-quarters. I dislike that they're cheating — breaking your promises to your partner is a shitty, shitty thing — but, although it doesn't excuse them, nonmonogamy is only just starting to edge into cultural acceptability. The option for "have an open, honest, nonmonogamous relationship" just wasn't there when they were getting married, and I imagine it's hard to break off a loving, long-term relationship because of something that's easy to cover up.

Friday, April 17, 2009

How can you make an open-relationship work?

You have to make sure that both people definitely want an open relationship. It's not something that you can push the other person into, because they'll be miserable and, if you're at all a decent person, that will make you miserable as well. Other than that: communication, respecting boundaries, communication, honesty with all your partners, communication. If you're not fond of talking about your feelings, I can't recommend an open relationship, because you'll end up doing it a hundred times more often.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Do you plan on telling your kids you were an escort? What would you say if your kids wanted to be escorts?

I doubt they'd find out, since it's not like you get branded by a big scarlet P when you become a prostitute. If they did, I'd tell them that it was a job I did when I was younger and that I didn't have a problem with it, but because prostitution has such a social stigma, they should keep their knowledge to themeselves.

If my daughter/son became an escort, had attitudes toward sex to let them do it healthily, were taking care of themselves physically, and seemed happy, I wouldn't mind. If they seemed unhappy or wanted to quit, I'd encourage them and offer to support them financially while they got a normal job.

If my son/daughter started seeing prostitutes, presumably he'd have to be financially successful to be able to blow that much money on a luxury. If he was spending the rent money on pussy, I'd kick his ass. I'd try to make sure he wasn't seeing prostitutes because he was unable to form normal relationships. If he was just doing it for variety and not in a monogamous relationship, I don't see why I'd care.

In general, I don't want to hear a lot about my offspring's sex lives. Euw.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

What do you think of "Secret Diary of a Call Girl"?

I have mixed feelings about "Secret Diary of a Call Girl"; I feel it makes escorting look too glamorous and dramatic and may be encouraging women to go into escorting because of that rather than because they have compatible attitudes toward sex and enjoy having casual sex. (Sorry for the long sentence; I just took my medication and it's making me a bit woozy.) However, "it's a job that I mostly enjoy and that pays well" doesn't make good entertainment, huh?